Lloyd Woods' Newsletter

Our Claim to Fame is Our Name's the Same!

Issue No. 10, June 1996


Lloyd Duane writes that his mother, wife of Lloyd Vance, died Dec 31, 1995. She contributed to the Newsletter and I extend our sincerest sympathies to both Vance and Duane.

Deckhand's Dilemma

Summer of '46 found me as an apprentice Deckhand on the Chacornac, a Great Lakes freighter. After cleaning out the holds of wheat we sailed for Toledo to load up with coal for Milwaukee. Ships are moved back and forth under the coal loader by taking in and letting out the spring lines fore and aft. The winches are near the centerline so the operator can't see over the side to the men moving the lines to the next bitt on the dock. I, being a 125-pound weakling, was assigned to the aftermost line. Moving forward, the winchman gave the cable some slack and I was supposed to take it off the bitt and move it to the next one. No hand hold on this one and I got my hand under the main cable but it was too heavy for me to lift. Bellowed my head off to no avail. Next thing the winch man knows is the line is spooling off the winch and the ship drifts forward with another ship moored ahead of us! Luckily the forward spring line held and they were able to check her drift but the captain decided I should assist the cook who didn't cotton to a college kid around so I left after a round trip and joined the army. Having quit several other jobs before this one that summer Dad's only comment was "At least you won't be quitting this job very soon." (The February issue of the Detroit Marine Historian pictured the Chacornac on the front page.)

Another Lloyd Found

Saw the following in the Jan/Feb 1996 issue of The Senior Class, a newspaper put out by the Senior Coalition:
To the Editor:

I am responding to the article by Rep. Bill Brewster regarding the Family Business Protection Act (HR 2190/S.1086). In my opinion, a better and fairer option would be the elimination of federal estate taxes! Estates are acquired by individual effort and, after paying all the other taxes, levied during our lifetime. The government has no logical reason to be taxing estates, save again trying to distribute the fruits of our wealth.

Lloyd T. Wood, Rochester, Minn.

T. is not on our mailing list so if anyone knows his address, send it along and we'll see if he wants to join this illustrious body. Getting my two cents' worth in, I agree with another writer commenting on this Bill who says "This is a good example of what is wrong with our laws - special deals for small groups at the expense of the general body of taxpayers." We need to realize that the bulk of our deficit stems from the cost of winning the Cold War and other threats to our way of life. Every generation that enjoys the blessings of liberty has an obligation to contribute to its preservation.

New Member

Lloyd Ronald, of West Chicago, IL, writes that he was cleaning out an old desk and found several of our old newsletters so decided to join us. Welcome to the fold! He's 40, a butcher and married with three daughters; Jessica (10), Megan (8) and Shannon (5). No word on what his wife's name is yet. (Don't be too hard on him, the rest of the club hasn't done too well with this either.)

Blizzard Bedevilment

Last January the snow plow drivers almost got the better of me. Or maybe it was the street department's revenge for my chiding them publicly about not sending a street sweeper down our cul-de-sac for nigh on twenty years. You shovel out your driveway and the street upstream for a car length or so but the neanderthal that drives the "monster" in the middle of the night still manages to fill your entrance with six feet of ice, rocks, and a ton of snow! Maybe if we could train them to go around the circle clockwise and leave their load in the center of the circle it would advance the cause of humanity just a bit. An advanced course on cul-de-sacs at snow plow school might be in order. I'll have to don my suit of armor and saddle up as Don Quixote of Rosinante to challenge this seasonal dragon. Wish me luck!

Fax Foibles

Keeping up with the boys on the information highway I splurged on one of these combination fax, printer, copier, scanner, message center machines a while back (the price dropped almost $100 a week after I bought it) but now that interferes with the answering machine so the devices can't decide who should answer the phone. On top of that we have a second number that's supposed to be only for the fax but if we don't get to the phone within three rings it answers anyway with its screeching reply. This makes my wife mad and frustrates callers no end but I'll get it figured eventually. The promoters wanting to sell me something still manage to get through to harass us but one of these days I'll prevail. When I do I'm going to bottle it and make a fortune.

Speaking of Bottles

Reminds me of a story my lit school roommate related in college. Seems he was in this big lecture hall at U of Michigan taking a biology course. The professor, hand in pocket, held up a jar containing a specimen in formaldehyde and announced for all to hear "In my hand I have a diseased organ." Some wag in the back of the hall replied "Whatcha got in the bottle doc?" (See, if you fellow Lloyd's would send in some material that's fit to print I wouldn't have to dig up these disgusting old chestnuts.)

More Lloyds

Lloyd Clark, down in Shalamir, FL (http://www.cybertron.com/~theduck), made contact with a Lloyd Wood in Surrey, England who has started a web page on the Internet (http://www.ee.surrey.ac.uk/Personal/L.Wood/). He's a satellite engineer working on a PhD as well as an actor and a lover who describes all of us as a bunch of "Clones". (My love life is beyond cloning.) Says he's "twenty five and slowly dying in front of a monitor, devoting my life to the flicker of a raster, to the illusion of community." With proper suffering he may become famous.

Lloyd Clark has since passed away, after fighting a series of heart attacks. See Issue 11. His BBS and web pages are sadly no more. - LW

Some new Lloyds (no middle initials or names) he mentions are the police chief of Pomona, CA, one from Hackleburg, AL who "kept harp singing alive", Robert Lloyd Wood "bringing the internet to people who have no idea what to do with it" and Carol Lloyd Wood, an "expert on Welsh poetry of the dark ages."


Melissa Wood, Miss Glamor Girl of Indiana 1995 Duane sent support money that is appreciated.

His daughter Melissa, a real cutie at age 4, was Miss Glamor Girl of Indiana last year. My old copier doesn't do too well with color or a dark background but her nose really isn't that shiny!

This greyscale scan looks pretty horrible under Netscape. Blame Netscape. - LW

A newsletter to all Lloyd Woods, by Lloyd William Wood, or LWW.
HTML web version and additional comments by Lloyd Wood (L.Wood@surrey.ac.uk), or LW.